3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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