jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
