Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
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