Sry I called you an 8
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
