you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
