To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I forget how to act sober
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
