nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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