i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
