You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
God, I missed his penis.
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