There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
