we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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