i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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