David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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