I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This is the high leading the old right now
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
