Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
