Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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