pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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