Porn is love you can see.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
