Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
