butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
