This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
