Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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