why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
