you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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