im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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