So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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