There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
