Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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