No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
the raccoons are back...
Randomize