If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
don't judge my taste in strippers
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
