I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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