singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
