i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
