My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
