Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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