I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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