Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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