well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
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