Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
