Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Boobs are out for the taking
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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