I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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