there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
