Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize