It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
