Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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