He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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