i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
