My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
