You work out of a Hotel?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize