My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Porn is love you can see.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
