His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
whose parrot is this?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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