I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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