I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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