That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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