I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
ttyl tear gas
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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