Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
