What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
