This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
