I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
