Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
